June 27, 2019
Yes, "EASY TIGER;" those are the very words that I feel have expressed my mood this past week.You know when you have one of those days (or weeks) that, no matter what you do, or where you turn, you are getting knocked down left and right. And, to make matters worse, you are already down for the count to begin with! I admit, I have been on the verge of tears for the last 24 hours but I feel like there is too much work to get done to allow myself to wallow in my feelings right now.
It's funny; I feel like I am in this phase of my life where I am, definitely, not the same "Janine Serio" as I was 10 years, 5 years, or even 1 year ago BUT it's hard to let go of some of those tried and true habits. You know, it is like trying to teach an old dog new tricks. I have always (okay, for the most part) lived my life playing by the rules but, as of late, this "edgier," "facing things head on," and "going with what my gut says" - even if it feels scary as fuck - attitude is very new to me...and I think it is very new for those who have known me for awhile too. I kind of think I may scare/intimidate people who are meeting me for the first time. And I think a lot of it has to do with being in the eye of social media every day.
Earlier this week, I expressed how I was feeling on my Facebook page that got more comments on my picture than my actual content (well, some people responded) but I wanted to share it here.
"They say that life is journey. They also say the heart knows what it wants. And, to be honest, I am feeling a little bit of rejection these past few days.
Putting my life out there on social media is my job; sure, it is scary; sure, it may be confusing to some, BUT it is my job.
A job that I am passionate about; a job that I want people to see me for me ➡️selfies, emojis, and all. I am who I am.
Whether it is in my personal relationships, or in my business relationships, I have to know it comes with the territory. Again, I am who I am, and that is what I have to keep telling myself.
And, you know what, I will do so with a freaking selfie..."
Don't worry, a selfie was showcased - here you go!
I have a really hard time not placing blame on myself for a lot of things. My Mom even said to me earlier this morning that she sees so much of her in me, and, definitely, does not want me living my life feeling like everything is "my fault." This circles back to what I said before about trying to teach an "old dog new tricks."
It's hard to not take it personally when, for example, you are being called out for something that you had no idea you were even doing, or why a friendship/relationship didn't work out when left with an incredibly hurtful text message (damn text messages), or even getting comments about "what are you doing with your life and business?"
At the end of the day, it comes down to me being true to myself and making ME happy. If I am being "called out," I need to meet it with understanding and move the fuck on; if a friendship/relationship does not work out it is not because I said something or I am not a nice/kind person (oh this one could go on); and those so-called "trolls" who are making comments, well, I am doing my job and getting them talking.
Adulting and girl bossing is HARD; not "bougie," for sure. Let's see how many people will be annoyed by me saying "that word." Okay I am done, LOL. I hope I look back on these times and say "as much as it sucked, look at where I am right now!" You gotta go through shit to get to the other side, and be a better person for it, right?
Until then, if you want to live on the wild side, you can, totally, grab this look from Free People! In fact, there is 25% off on all sale items going on right now! ;)
Because living on your wild side is a lot more fun than playing by the rules. Don't worry, I will keep reminding myself of that too!
Cheers to Thursday loves!