Keep Calm & Go All In!

Keep Calm & Go All In!

"Knowing others is intelligence. Knowing yourself is true wisdom. Mastering other is strength. Mastering yourself is true power" {Lao Tzu}
 
Hope your 1st week of October was fabulous! My current status is doing some work that is "Fit4Janine," overlooking palm trees and a gorgeous sunrise from beautiful Santa Monica, California! Yes, I am back in one of my FAVORITE places, and working on getting focused with content creation, marketing strategies, and soaking up the California sun! And by "soaking up," I mean enjoying the sun and cool breeze but it is still "too cold" for me to be sitting poolside in a bathing suit, yet alone getting in the Pacific.  
 
As I made mention last week, I am here with my boyfriend for (almost) 10 days. We will be traveling to San Francisco tomorrow (Tuesday) evening, then a couple days in Carmel too! On Saturday night, we went out to dinner with the photographer I use here in L.A. (and who just came to Baltimore), and her boyfriend was asking us if this is the longest time we had been together. We looked at each other and said "well, yes." It's funny because, although we have been dating for almost 6 months, we have not been in each other's company for this long, yet alone on a whole different coast, both out of our day to day routines, although, mine is a little more routine than his. Most of our time has been spent being together over long weekends, juggling family, work, and, honestly, getting to know each other. 
 
Long distance dating is hard, REALLY HARD. Sure, the phone is great and, UGH, texting, while nice during the day when both of us are at work, is NOT Fit4Janine to hold a long, meaningful conversation. I have been looking at this time away as one in which, I hope, we will really get to know one another. Not that we don't know each other - ha - but on a different level. Most of our time is, usually, spent getting reacquainted on a Thursday night (when one of us is traveling either to Baltimore/NYC), working on Friday, hanging on Saturday, and then leaving on Sunday. Never enough time. At least, never enough time to really learn about one another...and to get really vulnerable. 
 
Ah, to be vulnerable; something that I had locked up for a really long time, and one that has been really hard to unlock too. It's peeling away those layers that feels scary and painful but, once done, feels freeing. 
 
Man, my therapist has been right all this time! 
 
This past weekend, my boyfriend and I - yes, he is going to stay anonymous for a little longer - walked from Santa Monica, to Venice Beach, then back again. In total, it was about 6+ miles and it did give us the opportunity to talk, share, and, well, start to be more vulnerable then we have been with one another. Again, as hard as it may be, it's the only way for a relationship to work. If your partner does not know (and I am not saying all the time) why you do what you do, say what you say, think what you think, feel how you feel, etc., how does your relationship grow? 
 
It doesn't. 
 
It stays in this vicious cycle of not knowing, wondering, feeling like you have "done something wrong," etc. As my therapist has said before, "Janine, what is the worst thing that could possibly happen if you don't say how you feel?" 
 
Honestly, I couldn't really answer but, at the heart of if, it comes down to this -> you find your "answers" a lot quicker, and save yourself a lot of stress & anxiety in the long run! It's tough shit but, the more it's done, and "practiced," the easier it will become. It won't feel like you are being a burden. You won't worry that you are going to be judged, or not liked, or hurt someone's feelings. Believe me, I envy those individuals who can share everything the under the sun. Good for them! 
 
But, as a recovering "perfectionist," and one who is peeling back the layers of feeling "buttoned up" for so long, I will repeat, this is "tough shit!"
 
And it's hard being in a relationship too, especially when you have felt out of the game for so long! As I shared with my Mom, it feels a whole lot different dating at 32 then it did at 18. I mean, I will be 33 in a little over 2 months - that is 15 years! Yes, a lot has changed but, as with anything, it is one day at a time. One foot in front of the other. One conversation that opens the door of letting people in, and not feeling like you have to do it all, take it all, or feeling you are in it alone. 
 
Phew! 
 
And you thought today's "coffee talk" was going to showcase nothing but palm trees, sun, food, cocktails, more food, etc.! ;) Don't worry, more of that this to come (and make sure to stay connected to me on Facebook & Instagram too) but I felt strongly to share this today. If you have any words of wisdom, I would ALWAYS love to hear! And, to really let you know the truth, I feel better just sharing this with you RIGHT NOW!
 
Have a fantastic week loves! Cheers from The Fairmont Hotel! 
 
xoxo
Philz coffee

 

P.S. One of my FAVORITE coffee places in Santa Monica is the FAMOUS Philz   Coffee. Yes they are a "chain," but there are not many that are local to me in Baltimore (D.C. is the closest), so when I am here, I live it up! My favorite? A "large 'dancing water,' with cinnamon in the filter, and medium cream." It is FANTASTIC! The service is amazing, the staff is so friendly, and I have gotten in the groove of mobil ordering too! I mean, I, finally, working the technology here! Ha! Here's to a caffeinated life! 

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