July 8, 2019
And, no, I am not talking about myself.
And, no, I am not dating anyone...living the single life.
I made mention here and there last week about a decision I made that really pulled at the heartstrings. On one hand, it closes a chapter that, while it has been closed, it still feels that this makes it "final." On the other hand, it is a decision that I think is so "Fit4Janine" right now, and I can only HOPE that it helps to lesson my load.
My super cute row home downtown, the one I lovingly made a "home," and decorated it to the best of what my financial means could afford, went on the market today. I put the word home in quotes because I should mention, this is the home that my ex-husband and I purchased almost 10 years ago AND the one I fought so hard to keep when my marriage fell apart.
Mind you, I knew I would never live in that house by myself post divorce. It has been rented for the last few years but I felt that, at the end of the day, this was the one positive outcome of having to go through the ending of a marriage. It could be a possible nest egg for the future...whatever that future holds.
Sure, was my intent to hold onto it a little longer? Absolutely BUT, honestly, the money that I needed to put into it, and feeling already strapped with pouring so much money into my business, I wondered if it really made a whole lot of sense. Would it just be easier to not be a landlord - although my tenants have been great - sell the house, and just move on? The pros, definitely, out-weighed the cons.
And that is, exactly, what I decided to do. Emotionally, it is time. This was a home that I was so proud of; I (jointly) purchased when I was 23, I decorated it to a Fit4Janine "T" (mind you, we were living paycheck to paycheck), and it represented the life that I had wanted.
A life that, wow, when I look back almost 10 years later, it is really hard to believe so much has changed. And life for me has done a complete 360 degrees. What I have gone through, as fucking hard as it has been, has challenged (and changed) me for the better. I think I am finding out who I am; I know what I want, and I know that I am going to be okay.
I knew that this year, my 33rd year, and year of "19," was going to bring about a lot of change. It has been a ride so far but such is life. As I close this chapter, who knows where life will take me. Besides my family, there is nothing keeping me in Baltimore. Maybe there will be a certain someone who keeps me here, or maybe I will put down roots somewhere else in the city but, until then, I have to focus on what makes me happy right now.
All I have to say is fingers crossed my house sells before my renters leave...ha!
Happiest of Monday's! Here's to the next chapter (and a NEW WEEK)!