Yes, This Is A Personal Problem!

Yes, This Is A Personal Problem!

Hey YOU...yes you...really, how are YOU? Well, we made it to Friday but it is only April 3rd. Are you crossing your fingers that it is ONLY 27 more days before life starts to feel normal? I know I am! 

As I mentioned earlier this week, with life being at a bit of a halt, and that means fresh pictures to showcase will have to wait for the time being - umm, I cannot wait to showcase some of the latest outfits I have purchased - I thought April would be a great time to go through my "cloud," post some pictures that had not yet been shown, and just take a trip down memory lane. Think of it as a "Spring Cleaning." Hey, it is the least I can do since I have organized everything else I can, physically, organize right now.

Photo organization aside, that was not the focus/emphasis behind today's post. In fact, I am going to get really personal with you - not that I do not do that already but there are still some things in my life that I keep close to my heart and don't outwardly share. Because, it is my personal life. And, while this post is STILL not a full blown open book (peeps, some things need to stay private), I think you will get an understanding of the fact that I, too, am a REAL person behind all of the photos that I share.

And the struggle can be ABSOLUTELY real. 

Alright here we go, and this is in no particular order! Ha!

Janine Smile

 

1. Body Image

Yes, believe it or not (well, I think those around me get this), I have struggled with this from time to time BUT, over the last 14 months, more so than ever! No, I do not restrict food/count calories - please, I am a foodie and a health & wellness professional, plus I have been there and done that - nor do I workout for hours on end in the gym. Without getting too "woo woo" with nutrition and fitness, I will say this --> from a food standpoint I do have to be careful with what I do eat AND, working out under stress, actually, does the opposite for me. 

I have a body type that can easily fluctuate (I do credit this to my Polish ancestors) and this has, ALWAYS, made me feel self-conscious. Genetics, types of workouts (yes, I need to be so careful) a crazy thyroid, and stress have been my Achilles heel. I would be re-missed if I didn't say that I did spend some time in the "trying out the latest and the greatest" to see if that would be the, ultimate, FIT. Again, if you want to learn more about my lifestyle coaching, and how this mindset has shifted, reach out to me via the health & wellness company I co-own - 2 Health Nuts. 

And, the worst thing? Comparing myself to others, especially within my own family unit! To be honest, specifically, my sister and I don't even think she really knows this either. We are, both, built very differently. Although she was the athlete, I would say I have more of the athletic build. I just have an overall bigger bone structure than she does, and I have always wished I was built more like her. While we are the same size, give or take, she has the long legs, sculpted arms, and can eat/drink whatever she wants and it never shows. And this has nothing to do with the fact we are 7 years apart and, yes, I am the older one! 

As I mentioned, the last year has been tough on me, and a lot of it has to do with my THYROID, STRESS and NOT SLEEPING. Should I talk about those 2 sprained ankles that I suffered in the Summer of 2018 that I feel was the starting point of all of this. Truth - I stopped taking my thyroid medication for a few weeks prior to vacation last February because 1 - I did not have time to refill it and 2- I did not think it was "that important" since it was a secondary thyroid issue. Boy was I wrong, and I have been paying for it ever since! Whatever you do, DO NOT STOP TAKING YOUR THYROID MEDS!

Well, if you have ever experienced something like this then you will know what I mean. Nothing in my life changed - workouts, diet, stress (although this never helps), etc. - BUT the missing piece was the thyroid medication. And, when I said it did a number on me, it did a number on me. Swelling of my lower extremities and face; weight gain out of the blue, and just feeling downright miserable. I thought it was because I turned 33; as my client said, everything started to go downhill at that age BUT I knew it had to be something more. Let's just say, I feel like I have deleted MOST pictures from 2019! Ugh, especially those bathing suit pictures. Please, I m not that vain but it is more upsetting than anything! 

Am I still trying to navigate all of this, even 14 months later. OH YES! I have spent hours with a holistic doctor and taking more supplements than what you care to know in an effort to get me back on track - thyroid, sleep, stress, and all! 

As for body image? I am working through this every damn day. And it is time to move on to a different subject right now. 

Janine Smile 2

 

2. "Janine, this is what you SHOULD be doing at 34."

There you go; I said my age, although that is really no secret. LOL. If you had asked me 10 years ago where I would be at 34 it would, definitely, not have looked like this. But, that was the "old" Janine Serio mentality. The one who had a "plan;" the one had a timeline of kids, career, housing, schools, etc. 

Well, that so-called "plan" went away 4 years ago. 

No, this is not a platform for me to (continue) bringing up my divorce. My ex does not deserve that satisfaction of what he did. What I am going to discuss is what I thought was going to be happening for me at 34 is NOT, and that is perfectly okay. If I continue to harp on the past, I will loose sight of what I want for my future. 

Honestly, I do not know what the future holds, and I do not want to be bulldozed into thinking I should be having kids right now, or live in the 5 bedroom, 3 Bathroom, 5000 square foot house, or I should be dating people closer to my age to get these things, etc. I say this because I have been hearing it and, quite frankly, it is no one's business what I want in life but my own. 

I am a big girl, and I can make my own decisions and decide what I want in this next chapter. Things have changed for me. I am not saying that I want certain things off the table BUT I am navigating life with what makes me happy! I just want to have fun; I don't want to be focused on "omg, I don't have x, y, and z."

Can I not just let things evolve, see what happens, and just go from there? 

What I have is my health, an amazing family & support system, two businesses I am, diligently, working at trying to become something BIG every day, and so much. Life is stressful enough; to be worried about certain things NOT happening - trust me, that is still a struggle for me - is just an on-going cycle of being unhappy. 

And I have been in that place way too long. 

One thing I do not share a whole lot is that I am staying with my parents right now. When I was going through my divorce, I emotionally needed my family unit, and, financially, I was not feeling stable. I was starting a new business, had legal fees, was in the process of gaining full ownership of my house downtown (which is currently on the market) and my "here and there" paycheck - which continues - was going towards my supporting my new business, house, and other adulting responsibilities. 

I struggle with this too; what do people think? BUT, as I was told recently, and I continue to remind myself of this when I get to this place of "wtf"...Janine, you can, absolutely, stand on your own two feet. You are doing it now, and have been doing it for so long. You are using this time to get your business off the ground - not taking your family for a ride.'

And this is absolutely the truth!

I am so looking forward to that next step - I have my eyes set on a bougie place in the city - but I need that stabilization in order to feel completely sound (and I am getting that much closer). I am don't wa

So, while I can wonder what people think, and know this was not part of my "plan," none of that matters. This is part of my story and, what will define me is the person I am becoming through all of this! Never be too proud to ask for help, and never worry what people think. It is your life, and your journey. 

And, so far, my journey has many chapters! :) 

Janine Smile 3

 

3. What do I want for 2020?

Well, given the times we are in right now, I would say health, happiness, and getting back to normal. It is a scary but I have the utmost faith that we will get through this stronger than ever as a society. 

And given the crazy right now, I think I will hold off on answering that question for me, personally. 

I think that is enough of "Janine Serio" for today. I appreciate you staying with me, and reading through this all! I mean, if you are reading this line, I am, assuming, you have. LOL! 

Feel free to reach out if you want to continue the conversation, can totally relate, or just want to say "hey!"

Here's to Friday, staying healthy, and trusting the process!

xoxo 

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