July 18, 2019
Literally, my closet collapsed this week. Something else to add to my "list of things to do." Ugh.
Not sure if it is my hormones, a full moon, or WHAT, but I have been so emotional. I made mention on my personal Facebook page this week that if you want to see a grown woman cry, I have plenty of tears to share.
Maybe a good cry is what I need. Maybe I just need to let it go...and collapse.
I keep it pretty together, most of the time, but then, in times like this week, where I feel like I cannot breathe, everything seems 10x bigger than what it is. From getting creative with content on social media - as I am sure you have seen, I have been upped my game a bit (LOL) - to feeling nervous/anxious that my house is on the market, to trying to make a buck with business (and wondering how some of my bills will get paid), managing our family's beach property, adulting in general, and navigating this whole single life, it kind of fucks with your emotions.
Maybe it is me, taking on too much; maybe it is me, trying to do everything to a "T;" maybe it is me wanting to write a future that is left to the unknown.
I don't know what will give BUT, what I do know NOW, is that it is time to get out of Baltimore for a bit. Ever since I returned home from Paris in mid-May, things have just felt so different. Things have felt challenging. My heart has been heavy, and I have not seemed to pull myself out of this overall funk. Yes, exciting opportunities and projects are coming down the pike but I want to feel back on my game.
And that means going back to my happy place, another piece of my heart that I miss so much.
Santa Monica has been that place in my life that is, well, "Fit4Janine." It served as my home for 12 weeks, post-divorce, where I could just be ME, and not worry about who I would see, run into, etc. It's been my haven to "escape" to when I need to find clarity, perspective, and just BREATHE. Okay, I will be honest, I can be as bougie as I want to be when I am there without feeling like I am being judged.
It's my place to reevaluate what I want, personally and professionally. Whether it is taking a walk as the sun rises with my "large dancing water with medium cream & cinnamon in the filter," shopping along the 3rd Street Promenade, laying by the pool, jumping in on a fitness class at Orangetheory, or having a cocktail at 3:00 pm in the afternoon while doing computer work, I can just be me.
So that is what I am going to do. I leave next weekend to visit a friend in Dallas (very excited since I have never been), and then I will push on to Santa Monica for a week long stay at my favorite spot, The Fairmont Miramar & Bungalows. I may disconnect a little, or I may feel super inspired, but I will take it one day at a time.
Maybe I did need my closet to collapse (at least it was only one side) for me to realize that I need this more than ever. Hopefully, I will come back refreshed, and with a whole new outlook. Because there is so much I want to accomplish, and I think it is time for the world to get to know Janine Serio just a little more...
Seasons of Love
2 Health Nuts
'Tis The Season
Cheese & Charcuterie